down, but not out

Is the situation really that bad? I am afraid so. Are we all doomed then? Not even close my dear. I don’t need any newspaper telling me how ‘Pakistan is the most dangerous country in the world’ or any pseudo intellectuals calling the people ‘human cockroaches’. No we are not a failed state. Yes we have all the evils plaguing us right now, all the maladies that would even send the most prolific shaman into defeat. I won’t be arguing on the grounds of how EVERY nation has such problems. That’s a redundant issue now because more than problems itself, it is the way we handle these that is of concern. But no we aren’t born to go into the depths of defeat this easily. We have much to learn and much to gift the world. As long as people like Abdul Sattar eidhi are alive, Pakistan can believe in miracles and work its way out of the shadows. We need unity for that. Unity does not imply uniformity. Ethnic cleansers are the cockroaches of our society and we need a good pest killer. We all suffer from self-righteousness and a heightened sense of moral superiority over others. That needs to change. Let’s be stupid for a while because our way of going about things by using the brain has definitely not worked. We don’t have to assume that living in this society implies a compulsion to acquiring dishonorable tactics. If that’s the first thing every child learns, then clearly we are destroying the future of this country too; sabotaging it rather, with our apathetic approach in life. We are really good spectators by the way. But just like good observers have good acting potential; I believe this crowd of a nation has all the ingredients of becoming good players too. We just need to act, and act in our own spheres rather than interjecting into the affairs of others. We are a society unto ourselves. Mend yourself and the world will change overnight.

economics,anyone?

An idea can change a world. An idea can shape up the future from the ashes of the past. An idea is man’s best asset; an infinitely productive property. Muhammad Yunus was probably thinking on the same grounds when he initiated his micro-finance schemes and the revolutionary Grameen Bank. Let’s not go very far, let’s talk about who and what Fahd Farooq Chattha is. His father is a doctor who studied in a top notch medical college of Pakistan. He set up a clinic to reach out to the poor masses in his rural home town. But the major impact was his interest in business. Few men of sciences ever delve into the world of economics and finance like he did. He was one of the pioneers of the agro-to-industrial based economy in the region despite being a regular worker of a totally opposite field. Better still, he took the first steps in maintaining a healthy balance between an agrarian and an industrial life style. He employed the poor land owners of Muridke to productively capitalize their assets. He meted out small scale loans and established the fertilizer industry in this region. His factories broke the vicious cycle prevalent at that time which introduced the middle man as an oppressor of the poor. He redefined this role. The poor farmers now get A-grade fertilizer at cheaper rates. There is more employment. The land is more productive. Even the crime rate seems to have decreased, now that the regional disparity has been reduced. All in all, a small town in one part of Pakistan revived the basics of successful financing and created a ripple effect reaching as far out as the GDP of the country imparting a positive influence on it. And in this journey, Fahd Farooq Chattha, although still a youngling, was an avid spectator and at times even a critic and a counselor.
This is where my love and passion for the world of economics started. Since my childhood, I had seen the power of sciences in the form of medicine and engineering in action around us. I was surprised, however, by how little the impact of economics on any society was understood in our country. Yes there have been A-grade students and PhD holders in this field but few who actually tapped into a proper understanding and implementation of its rituals. Fortunately my father was one of these. It gave me a boost up and sense of direction I wanted my life to take. I knew deep inside me that economics was where my destiny lay. It was a natural passion and instinct even. I remember being engrossed in the business section of BBC and TIMES and marveling at the market dynamics. The economic recession was the tsunami for my world. I was nearing the end of my O-levels at the time and couldn’t wait to ‘go out there’ and ‘get into action’. I had studied sciences in O-levels however, contrary to what the above lines might imply. The reason was a very simple one : sciences imparted a very innovative and logical problem solving attitude. The likes of this are a must have for successfully handling the intricate world of finance. Mathematics was, as a result, a favorite subject and my link between the two opposite fields. I kept sciences even in A-levels despite studies becoming very challenging at that point. The marvels of science demanded a herculean mind to understand and comprehend. If I could develop exactly that, I would have one of the many tools necessary for becoming a successful economist. I kept pace with the concerned subject too, going beyond the confines of course books. As stated above, the idea behind Grameen Bank and a very similar format of action being adopted by my father acted as great inspirations for me.
Life is process of consistent learning and micro-evolutions. Everything we do from watching Leonardo Di Caprio sketching awesome figurines in ‘Titanic’ to playing hockey as Captain and centre forward for the school team is a learning experience. One teaches finesse and dedication, the other inculcates team work ethics and an ability to handle tough situations. I have been passionate about extracurricular activities for this very reason. They give me the learning opportunities that life ought to be honored with. Problem solving skills, coordination, leadership, time management, hard work, creativity; aren’t these features common to both a hockey match and an economic project?
Once the prospective degree was decided, the place to obtain this was a clear choice too. When it comes to education, the United Kingdom is a royalty. One of the best educational institutions of the world, intellectually stimulating and encouraging environments, and to top it off, a G-8 country which also happens to be a common room for many different cultures and ethnicities. What more could a student ask for?

of evil and the dead in A levels

Imagine a child; blissful innocent and carefree. He is playing in a lush green meadow with rainbows above and fresh water springs beside him. The air is filled with lovely sounds of his joyous laughter and melodious chirping of birds. Now drop an A-bomb in this scenario and you have a ‘picture perfect’ example of what life in A levels is like. And if you plan on doing medical afterwards, add a tinge of volcanic eruptions and earthquakes to the aforementioned.
So we have completed our O levels and amassed a plethora of A’s to our credit. There is newfound optimism and confidence in the air. On top of that, we have an increasing desire to ‘live’; parties, movies, time waste etc. and with this legion we march into the battlefield with little or no sensible clue of what exactly to do. We talk about our CV’s, grades, Megan Fox, university applications and loads of other crap until Columbus discovers the date sheet for mid-term exams. All is still well until we realize that for the first time, we actually need school exam grades (for university applications and other terrorist propagandas). Theoretically we should have been scared enough to wet our pants but in reality the wetting phase would have to wait until exam results are announced. By that time however it’s too late and then planet sulk enters its influential orbit around us. We get a fishy feeling that A levels might not be the cookie that we anticipated. But God bless mount-optimism. We remember the good-ol olevel days and pat ourselves on the back knowing that somehow we are too brilliant to be true and will sort things out here as well. And so off we go chasing more fun, ’important internships’ and vicious gf searches (Google is eerily silent in this regard). Lightning CAN strike the same place twice and we realize this only after discovering yet another date sheet, promotion exams this time (or AS if you inhabit planet Beaconhouse). Needless to say, the chicken never managed to cross the road.
With that we enter the universal favorite time zone of summer vacations. Memories of exam holocaust are still fresh in our minds. Hence we think of acting more responsibly and decide to join academies for summer tuition. But the choice of such depends entirely on the ‘mahol’ of the place. So we end up nicknaming the whole class for binomial nomenclature and acting all serious at worksheets and assignments without actually disturbing the books from their sacred slumber. Enter Lord WAPDA with its cracking whip of torturous load shedding. We burn in the summer heat and anger at fate for not getting to approach certain selected deities. And while the global carbon emissions increase drastically because of this, the summer vacations come to an end.
By now, we really are scared witless. The chronicles of mirthlessnes continue. If simple concepts weren’t enough of a nightmare, we were introduced to paper 4 and 5 which speaks out loud “I want your blood, and brains if you have any”. No more hours of playing football in the basketball court or discussing politics in the lecture rooms. University apps and SATs only added to the misery. The story continues, with some really painful bumps like the SSE test. Let’s see what becometh of the flock. Fingers crossed and best of luck every one.

Ernesto Che Guevara

Times magazine hailed him amongst the 100 most influential people of the 20th century. One of his photographs was declared, in a survey, to be the most famous photograph in the world. Everywhere, from t-shirts to posters, a high contrast graphic monochrome of his face is picturing the words ‘rebellion’ and ‘revolutionary’ to the masses. It is hence not surprising to see life of Ernesto Che Guevara as a big inspiration for many teenagers, me included. I must clarify one thing though: Che’s Marxist ideas have never held much appeal for me. Instead it is the basic message of his struggle which caught my attention: elimination of poverty and creating equality in society.
I was introduced to this legendary rebel when I saw a friend wearing a shirt with Che’s monochrome. I was intrigued as this was the first time I had seen any teenager go beyond wearing a wrestling or singing icon. It was explained to me that this guy was “awesome Cuban revolutionary”. Knowing my friend’s habit of believing in street gossip, I decided to do some research myself to find out who Che Guevara was. I went to my history teacher the next day and was told that Guevara was “a terrorist cum politician”. Now although I considered the teacher to be more authentic in this regard, I was still surprised by the polarity of images that these two people had portrayed; one depicting Guevara as hero, the other as villain. I asked my teacher that why was he being worshipped in the popular culture if he was so nefarious? This question was answered by a blank expression on my teacher’s face and I knew then that history certainly was a matter of interpretation. So I searched the internet for articles of all types on Guevara’s life; his early life and affinity for the poor, his asthma problem that he bravely fought, admission into University of Buenos Aires for medical, his athletic interests and aptly given nicknames like El Furibundo(raging) to describe his playing style. The articles showed a contrasting spectrum of opinions. Some, like my friend and prominent people like Nelson Mandela, portrayed him as “an inspiration for every human being who loves freedom”. Others would use words like ‘cold-blooded killing machine’ and ‘Marxist puritan’.
But in all these articles, one thing came out very prominently. In the start of post-colonial era, societies were succumbing to all sorts of social evils and disparity. Corruption, apartheid, lawlessness, poverty. It would seem that freedom from the colonial era was about to become a big curse for places like Latin America. And certainly social degeneration was an imminent possibility in such societies. But at this point, there came people, Ernesto Che Guevara being an excellent example, who rebelled not against a political ideology but against social evils at large. The means by which Che Guevara tried to achieve his aims might be controversial but the ultimate goal was nothing more than a world full of peace; a world where there would be no racial or status based discrimination, where all humans were equal and were treated thus. And this message, every sane human acquiesces to.

metamorphosis of myself

There used to be a time when decorum was the las thing on our minds when we used to play in the rain.Today, however, such an activity is usaully a total taboo.Why? “ you are grown up now!It does’nt look nice.” Things have changed.Over the years there have been many changes in myself as a person too;from a child who’s only worry was to catch elmo on sessame street daily in time to a person wondering how to manage the hectic schedule of senior high school year, I am a different person now.The roots of this change can be traced back to a single event in my life.The event which became my awakening.When a catterpillar metamorphises into a butterfly,the process completely changes the personnality of the insect.The hungry grub is transformed into the very emblem of beauty.Hopefully my morphosis will leave me as something significant too.
When I entered my teens, life turned a new leaf.The world around me was a different picture now with new colours and shades in everything.Now it was my task to have left some strokes of my own in the painting.Alas! I was too naïve to do more than just stare.My thinking was still not mature enough.enjoyment seemed to be the only purpose in life.Why work?day in and day out I was just goofing around,wasting my time,my life.I had grown up but I wasn’t taking my responsibillities seriously.I would’nt study at all.life was just a play ground for me and there was definitely a dire need to bring about an attitude change.And soon the harsh awakening came in the form of my olevels result.
I still remember how on the day of the result announcement I was sitting in my school lobby wondering how come I had been so care free during the exams.i couldn’t remember havind devoted enough time or concentration to this important matter.Too late to worry about it though. Then they called my roll number and I was taken to the office.They gave me the report card.One look at it and the scenery all around me was a shade of dull gray and a gloomy blue tinge.It was as if my heart had stopped beating.I walked out with slumped shoulders,slow dragging steps,a numb mind and a heart which was in a million little pieces.
My parents had expected so much from me.I had let them down.People all around me were celebrating the result; reaping the fruits of their labour.They were discussing their future plans, the school they would choose,the universities they were aiming for,the majors that interested them, the course of life they wanted to set upon.I realized I had always been living in a bubble.For me the future was little more than just a prediction of who would be winning the english premier league.The obvious fault lay in the way I had shaped my present : a life without significant meaning or direction.Everbody was working hard to make a name for themselves,to leave their footprints on the sands of time,to be somebody! I on the other hand was a content nobody.I was wasting my life.

And thus I woke up from the slumber of ignorance.I joined a prestigious institute and promised myself that I would be the architecht of my own change,a change within myself to become a more responsible person.I changed my perception and was now in active serach of meaning and direction in life.I talked to our career cousellor for guidance.She recommended that I participate in different activities to find the answer to my question.Thereafter I became an avid participant in many extracurricular actvities.It was not the certificates that attracted me; it was the learning experience that these things promised to offer.There was this dance competition in which I participated and learned so many new things from synchronization and team work to dedication and honesty to the task at hand.Then there was this paper plane flying competition that made me realize the importance of applying class room knowledge to practical life.And yes the film making competition too! That’s where I learned realy effective communicating skills.All this provided me with ample oppurtunity to redeem myself.However there was still another side of the coin that I was oblivious of.My volunteer work at the zoo solved that for me.It was there that I realized that life means living not just for your self but for others as well.Hence I became passionate about activities that allowed me to work for the betterment of others.I had now found a purpose of my existence: living like a candle that provides light to others.I joined the adult literacy plan to educate those who were unfortunate enough to have been denied this privilege previously.Then I participated in a tree plantation campaign and a similar drive to spread environmental awareness.Here is where I truly left some artistic strokes of my own in the picture. I was awarded a postion in the student coucil and more oppurtunities to contribute to the world around me rose up.
The first high school year ended.Yes things had definitely changed.I had realized the importance of living life with a purpose.I had learned to live and learned along side that living without an aim or goal is just surviving, not living.The future now lies before me like an unread book.As I am about to turn the first page,I have one purpose which I shall follow like a devout.I shall read the story and enjoy it as well but I will read it out loud so that the others can have some benefit too.

Debating society report

The year started with Asad Javed taking over the charge of the prestigious MIDS from asad Khalid. There was just one holy commandment to follow: maintain and improve Jt’s excellent reputation in debates. And sure enough the president along with the dedicated society members defended their reputation with religious devotion. The kick-off event was the LUMS Olympiad university style debating. Seasoned speaker Ibrahim Shujaat Rabbani paired up with the prodigal new comer Saim Ejaz to battle veteran teams from all over the country. Although young and relatively inexperienced, the duo fought with Olympian vigor, ending up in the semi-finals and leaving the crowd in awe by their speaking skills. Then came the refractory phase where most of the original team members got busy in exams and a very important competition, the UET all Pakistan bilingual parliamentary, was lurking around the corner. Determined not to waste any event, the president decided to send in a team of new comers to familiarize them with the professional debating world. The team hence made comprised of Ali Akram Hayat, who had previously been an important resource person for the school team, and Azfar Ahmad Farooqi. Again the odds were against us as the competition was with more experienced teams. But once again the boys kept the prestige of Jt intact. The team made it into top sixteen from all over the country and both the speakers were nominated for best speakers of the tournament. This encouraging start provided the debaters with a morale boost. Determination to bring home some glory was further intensified. So to maintain the good pace, Azfar was sent to participate in the Saint Mary’s Academy Model United Nations in Rawalpindi. Three days of cut throat competition with enthusiasts from all the well known schools resulted in shaping the event into yet another learning opportunity. Azfar bagged an honorary mention representing PLO in the counter terrorism committee, bringing home the accolade and with it loads of valuable experience. And so the debating society geared up to enter the second phase of the race to glory.
This began with the first preparatory event of the U-19 circuit: Resource Academia challenge cup. Here the main school team comprised of the more experienced members of the society: Ibrahim Rabbani, Asad khan, Mustafa khan, mohammed wiqar and ali akram. Competing against well known rivals aitchison and 1A1, the school team kept its own and nudged its way to the quarter finals. The ace speaker, Ibrahim, got nominated for best speaker of the tournament. After this the school team flew off to Karachi for an even more exhilarating battle at the Karachi Grammar cup. This time the team composition was altered as per the opinion of our coaches Nauman Faizi and Ali Javed. President Asad Javed, who being a new comer to the parliamentary format had not yet participated in any parliamentary event was given the opportunity to speak here. Exploiting his chance well, Asad maintained good coordination with team members Ibrahim, Mustafa, Ali Akram and asad khan, to propel Jtites to the top five. This good performance established Asad Javed as another prodigal addition to the team.
With this new momentum, our debaters entered the most hectic month of the calendar year: October. Next up were events that would shape up school teams for the coveted nationals .In addition, Aitchison had taken the initiative of pioneering high school Model united nations in Lahore by organizing ACMUN’09.Our team was invited to pitch their skills against others in a battle of diplomacies. All this had to be taken care of along with managing JT’s own MID cup. So sleeves were rolled up and lots of coffee was brought in as the debating society nose-dived into an adrenaline fueled ride. First came the LGS defense cup. Two teams were sent. Team A comprised of Asad Javed, Asad Khan and Mustafa while team B had Mohammed Wiqar, Omer Farooq and Azfar Ahmad. The face-off began with the preliminaries where unfortunately team A got knocked out after a controversial decision. Team B however managed to knock-out rivals Beaconhouse liberty campus and enter the octofinals of the tournament. Here they were pitched against a more tough cookie : Kabbana. The match was a nail biting close one and by the end JT managed to pull it off with an excellent show of team work and logical reasoning. Hereby Kabbana was knocked out and JT made it into the top eight from over thirty two participating teams. However lady luck wasn’t quite pleased and the team could go no further; losing the next match in quarterfinals.
For any other team, morale would have gone down the drain after coming this close to the cup and then losing but this is LGS JT we are talking about. Our boys aren’t familiar with pessimism and so in no time they were seen gearing up for the ACMUN. Our delegation was assigned Italy to represent and the team comprised of Talha Ejaz, Taimur Butt, Ali ahsan, Haseeb ahmed, Azfar Ahmad and Mahad Naseer. With less than a week to prepare, the boys toiled day and night for this big event. It started with the global village where our team had to represent Italian culture via a stall and our dress-up. This was executed marvelously covering all major aspects of Italian culture; Mahad dressed up as mafia( very Mario Puzo,no?), Talha became the pope( he actually held a communion after this), Ali was the pizza boy, Azfar an artist and Taimur a footballer. However the icing on the cake was Haseeb. Covered from head to toe in white paint and a golden toga, he posed as a statue and did a marvelous job at it. Every single person at the exhibition, including the Principal of Aitchison himself, wanted to have a photograph of them while standing next to haseeb ( guys, get jealous because even girls flocked over to him). This gave the team a boost up for the vicious debating sessions due next day. Here again the boys worked hard for honor and glory. Eventually the team clinched worthy accolades: Azfar was given an honorary mention in DISEC while our global village stall was ranked fifth from over forty competitors, winning critics award for the most creative stall.
With this encouraging performance, the stage was set for JT to host its own Mian Iftikhar-ud-din Debating cup. This year a larger turn up was expected as over the years this championship had earned a good repo. To make sure its dignity was maintained, our boys had to manage the event like no other, taking care of even seemingly negligible issues. This meant over a week of brain-racking hard work in a routine full of chaos, shouting and headache pills. The host team comprised of debating society members coordinating their efforts with the student council. Hence the event kicked off on its traditional time, mid October, with every well known team in the country eyeing the trophy. Defending champions GC were under the lime light. So the show began with preliminaries where the professional teams were seen mirthlessly mutilating the dignity of novice participants. We being the hosts obviously enjoyed it all from a safe distance *wink*. But even more heated battles awaited us as these professionals were pitched against each other in latter rounds. All sorts of topics from practicality of religion to ideas concerning legalization of prostitution were thrown at the participants to give them a real mental workout. Eventually we saw Aitchison, who seemed to be the favorites of the stars this year, face-to-face with LSE in the final round. There was a houseful, literally, to watch the finale. Our very own respected Miss Sonu Rehman had consented to be the chief-guest. After a match that left the audience biting nails anxiously, LSE were declared triumphant and even managed to snatch the best speaker prize. Well I guess stars were a bit off their trajectory on that day. Too bad for aitchison, who had lost this tournament for the third time after making it to the finals.
When the excitement of having organized MIDC so well, and having added some participants on facebook *ahem ahem*, had passed our teams prepared to enter the LACAS sondhi cup. Now this tournament was a very unique one. Firstly it made the only known, till then at least, attempt of fusing declamations and parliamentary by having a “prepared motion round”. The result was a tragedy which has been described as a disaster worth mentioning on BBC. Secondly, on several recorded instances, the persona assigned the duty of judges turned out to be unqualified for this task and went so far as to award 92 marks to a CERTAIN speaker out of the max possible 80. Not surprisingly then, JT didn’t do too well and came home disappointed. Heck even the food wasn’t good enough compared to our own Chinese cuisine. Complete time waste? Well maybe no. At least we enjoyed SOMETHING *evil grin*.
And with this came the month of November. Now was the time when the coveted U-19 nationals was going to take place. The very name, all Pakistan Under-19 nationals debating championship, seemed to have an energizing aura. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that teams work really hard for months, six in JT’s case, to do well in this single event. So it can be imagined how excited and anxious our boys were for this competition. Our coaches Nauman Faizi and Ali Javed had worked equally hard to train the boys for this final test. A week prior to the event, team selection was to take place. Now this is by no means an easy task when you consider the abundance of talented debaters in JT. Veterans like Ibrahim, Mustafa and Asad javed were quickly shortlisted with Ali Akram and Asad Khan following as resource persons to complete the first team. For the second team, Mohammed Wiqar, having served MIDS well in U-17 last year, was an easy choice. Considering their good performances at LGS defense and some friendlies, Omer farooq and Azfar Ahmad were then chosen to accompany him. Both teams were equally energetic and determined. So amidst all the adrenaline, nationals started on November 20th at Aitchison college. Every known school team was present and all eyes were set on the trophy. The tournament opened with a preliminary round where both the teams performed brilliantly. Team B defeated SISA and LGS Islamabad with record breaking margins to ensure that even though they lost to KGS, they still managed to clear the round and be honored with a position amongst the top 16 teams from all over Pakistan. Team A did even better, defeating every single team in the first round including giants KGS and Headstart to get a top slot ranking based on the preliminary round marks. With the first hurdle crossed so well, our boys were optimistic about their chances. However somebody must have bribed the already so poorly reputed Lady luck against us and to produce a scenario of Shakespearian irony, JT’s team A was put against Jt’s team B in the octofinals. Bad? Add to it the fact that it was a knock-out round which meant that only ONE of our teams would make it to the next round. Is it just me, or is there really a stench of jealousy in the air? Anyway our boys prepared to face each other in a heated debate on issues regarding the global warming and ways of dealing with it. Pakistan team coach Sameer Khosa was the judge and the match room was crammed as a great gladiator style battle was being expected. We certainly didn’t disappoint the spectators. From the very first minute, it was a match like no other. Despite being relatively weaker, JT team B had come up with a bafflingly simple yet clever team strategy that cornered their counter parts. If not for their experience and organized approach, team A would have certainly lost the match. They gave a tactful fight to the very last minute and Rabbani’s reply speech left even the rivals applauding his brilliance. In the end, team A was declared victorious with a very narrow margin.
Their happiness was short lived though. Next up were the quarter finals where they were to face a very familiar team and guess what? The judge was a familiar figure too (remember the controversial decision at LGS defense?). It was anticipated that we were heading towards yet another controversy. So with some distracting omens, loads of bad luck and the question of whether or not our parliament was hiding sugar under the tables(quote unquote Rabbani), Jt lost the match with the narrowest possible margin. In the critique following the match, the only flaw we could figure out was that “Rabbani was aggressive” and quite surprisingly one of the opponents was given good marks for possessing this quality. Somebody needs to see the psychiatrist, NOW!
All’s well that ends well. We fell in love with this cliché when the closing ceremony of the tournament took place. All three of team A’s speakers were short-listed for selection in Pakistan’s national debating team and in the ensuing hectic routine, Rabbani managed to nudge its way to the prestigious green coat becoming the youngest ever member. He made us all proud and we hope he does wonders for Pakistan at the World school debates at Qatar this year.
With that, the story seemed to have ended on a bitter-sweet note. But wait! We had just realized that we were truly, madly, deeply in love with debates and our boys simply refused to let go of it. Despite the threatening clouds of exams, JT decided to go for yet another high-profile tournament: LUMUN. Although late for registration, we managed to pull a few strings to get in. Unfortunately however, the strings weren’t good enough to get us any interesting country and we got assigned Vietnam. Dude, it doesn’t even have good food! But to cover up for this loss of SHUGAL, the boys prepared hard to match others at a diplomatic level. Eventually Saim Ejaz(long time no see, buddy?) won an outstanding diplomacy award in UNIFEM.

the good,the bad and the sleepy

Crazy comes in many shapes and sizes. One manifestation is the feeling of being driven crazy by sleep during class room lectures. Now more often than not, I’ll trace the origins of this to the lullaby feel-alike teaching style of the lecturers. But the fact that not everybody drifts off to dreamland means that ‘I’ (significant emphasis) am to be blamed for being a sleepy head. And this was a real crisis situation in the first year of my Alevels.Already blissfully dizzy on my Olevels result, the habit of late night movie marathons and hours of basketball practice meant that I was delirious in almost every class. So while everybody else discussed the Aufbau principle with the teacher, I was busy feeding Doritos to a troll. Had I been in Hogwarts, I would have been awarded a grade T(for troll level intellect) in subsequent class test performances. I guess dunce is human world equivalent of troll so I was awarded D in class tests (dunce level intellect).And this was nothing short of an electric shock for me; from straight A’s to the mighty D’s! The alarming situation needed to be addressed urgently. So I decided to cut down (a bit only, mind you) on the movie marathon hours and skip practice sessions so that I could open my eyes a little during classes. But apparently the angel of sleep was particularly keen on blessing me and these changes in routine had little effect. Hence I decided to adopt a different policy: beat the vermin habit with a pinch of cutting edge science!
This doesn’t mean that I intended on attaching a truck size battery to my temples or to take steroids etc .Instead I decided on doing some research on biochemistry of sleep and then figure out a way of controlling mine.Nerdy,no?But who cares as long as it works out fine?.And so off we go on an adventure involving lots of melatonin, some canthradin and absolutely no amount of epinephrine. So basically what I did was open up Wikipedia(our debates coach calls it a blessing on humanity) and start my research on sleep from the main substance which controls it. And that would be our friend N-acetyl-5-methoxytryptamine, or melatonin in simpler words. Now what Jimmy Wales’s miracle site explained was that melatonin was synthesized by light sensitive ganglions in pineal gland. And this little friend of ours causes drowsiness and hence promotes sleep. So it must be this punk who makes me sleep in classes! But BEEP! No! I had the wrong fellow. Melatonin secretion is suppressed during day light hours, which unfortunately is also the time when classes commence. And so it couldn’t be the fault of this buddy. I concluded that in order to battle my sleep, I had to discover something that could be used without significant side effects to keep me alert and awake. Nescafe all the way for the next week then. But even that wasn’t very useful; heck coffee is a powerful diuretic substance and only increased my discomfort. Apples? I had read somewhere that they could keep both, the doctor and the sleep, away .So next day the local fruit vendor got lucky as some crazy lunatic bought tons of apples from him.And the result? Shortage of pocket money and stomach ache. So this experiment had failed too. Then somebody suggested ventogen. This idea sounded good, and cheap too. And I did end up waking in the classes! but it was because of the burning ,sizzling feeling on my skin and God was it painful! Sure enough I didn’t sleep. But I couldn’t study either .So this was another failure, and a miserable one at that.
Now there was a friend of mine who was a lot into books and stuff. I asked him for help. He named a substance canthradin that could keep me alert without any danger if taken in correct amounts .Origin? Secreted by blister beetles .Say that again?!BLISTER beetles?!GULP. So where exactly had this wise fellow read about it?”oh I read about it in a novel by Roald Dahl”;and he was relaxed while saying it as if it was natural for an A-levels student to look up Roald Dahl for help with chemistry.”It was being used as an aphrodisiac by the way”. Hearing this convinced me that I was never, EVER going to that guy for help with such matters again.And so my wild goose chase continues.How I manage to stay awake a little during classes now is another story.But I am still looking for a wonder substance in this regard.Maybe next time I’ll try some bangali baba’s majoon.Just thinking out loud.