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He sits silently in the shadows, the light from his laptop glowing onto his face. Headphones on, he is listening to that one song he always goes to in times of depression. He adjusts the volume button, conscious of how when it’s too loud, one of the earphones go silent automatically. He is engulfed in darkness, and the only thing heavier than this darkness is his heart. He has just felt the sorrows of past and present come crashing onto him. His sensations overloaded, tears naturally started building up. The song goes on, barely stirring any new emotions inside the listener. But unmistakably he can feel the old emotions churned into turbulence as the singer’s sad voice corroborates with the pressing emotions and the painfully honest musical instruments that lament his unspoken worries. The guitar riffs cried with him as the flood of tears broke free of all restraints. The darkness and absolute solitude would help hide the taboo expression of emotions. ‘look how they shine for you, look at the stars look how they shine for you’ the singer would continue to repeat in the most grief stricken voice and somehow summarize every emotion and unleash more torrents of tears. Oh how he wished to able to respond with a composition of his own! It seemed as if his options of lamenting were limited by his inabilities in life. His failures seemed so strong; they would even corrupt his right to repent in a befitting manner.

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Of course music was the one class they all liked. This was what made the module bearable, they said. A certain Yousaf Kerai was presenting South Asian music today. Last time it was the fakirs with Sindhi Sufi poetry. The haunting folk tunes had left an ever lasting impression on all. What could possibly be better than that? Certainly not a typical history and tradition lecture from a Mathematics major. Or so they thought before Kerai and the young boy accompanying him started their kaleidoscope of nuances. A tabla and sitar was all they had, in addition to generations’ worth of knowledge and experience of reveling in the classics. A Kashmiri raag was presented first, it’s lightly energetic melody echoing off the huge walls of lecture hall, composing a uniquely entrenched mixture. Then Punjabi tunes were fused onto the now familiar Sindhi folk music; upbeat energy getting humbled by the light symphony. Some old and long forgotten Bengali tune was played. Bits and pieces from old, well known ghazals followed. Then they played the aymen raag. The oldest raag, kerai said, from the genius of Amir Khusro himself. The boy on the sitar worked his fingers back and forth, up and down delicately yet swiftly, pressing the right place at the right time, coordinating listening to wrist movements and to the dexterously playing fingers to respond to the changing flow of music. This instrument, this inanimate magician, was conceived some eight hundred years ago, as Kerai further elaborated. The base was made from dried pumpkin and the hilt from a special wood. The elders had impersonated emotions onto every string, cord and fret. Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Da Ni Sa. Every piece of wonder was a collage of these basic elements. But it was Kerai’s tabla that truly spoke a multitude of South Asian dialects. Kerai played a steady four beat rhythm to set the stage for the boy. 1,2,3,4 clap 1,2,3,4 clap. “words cannot express this expression” he teased the limits of verbal language while they both continued to churn magic out of their inanimate magicians. And then they made this quick, steady transition to the sixteen beat variant of these same symphonies. The audience fell deeper and deeper into a trance as the musicians’ hands worked increasingly furiously, but with surgical precision and delicacy, on the instruments. The spell was being cast around these passive observers. The tabla flowed naturally in a direction, inviting the sitar to follow its lead while also enhancing its expression amidst the tabla taps. It was at this point that the hearts and souls of the whole audience united, all now prisoners to this immortal beauty of music, a beauty that words could never capture.

down, but not out

Is the situation really that bad? I am afraid so. Are we all doomed then? Not even close my dear. I don’t need any newspaper telling me how ‘Pakistan is the most dangerous country in the world’ or any pseudo intellectuals calling the people ‘human cockroaches’. No we are not a failed state. Yes we have all the evils plaguing us right now, all the maladies that would even send the most prolific shaman into defeat. I won’t be arguing on the grounds of how EVERY nation has such problems. That’s a redundant issue now because more than problems itself, it is the way we handle these that is of concern. But no we aren’t born to go into the depths of defeat this easily. We have much to learn and much to gift the world. As long as people like Abdul Sattar eidhi are alive, Pakistan can believe in miracles and work its way out of the shadows. We need unity for that. Unity does not imply uniformity. Ethnic cleansers are the cockroaches of our society and we need a good pest killer. We all suffer from self-righteousness and a heightened sense of moral superiority over others. That needs to change. Let’s be stupid for a while because our way of going about things by using the brain has definitely not worked. We don’t have to assume that living in this society implies a compulsion to acquiring dishonorable tactics. If that’s the first thing every child learns, then clearly we are destroying the future of this country too; sabotaging it rather, with our apathetic approach in life. We are really good spectators by the way. But just like good observers have good acting potential; I believe this crowd of a nation has all the ingredients of becoming good players too. We just need to act, and act in our own spheres rather than interjecting into the affairs of others. We are a society unto ourselves. Mend yourself and the world will change overnight.

economics,anyone?

An idea can change a world. An idea can shape up the future from the ashes of the past. An idea is man’s best asset; an infinitely productive property. Muhammad Yunus was probably thinking on the same grounds when he initiated his micro-finance schemes and the revolutionary Grameen Bank. Let’s not go very far, let’s talk about who and what Fahd Farooq Chattha is. His father is a doctor who studied in a top notch medical college of Pakistan. He set up a clinic to reach out to the poor masses in his rural home town. But the major impact was his interest in business. Few men of sciences ever delve into the world of economics and finance like he did. He was one of the pioneers of the agro-to-industrial based economy in the region despite being a regular worker of a totally opposite field. Better still, he took the first steps in maintaining a healthy balance between an agrarian and an industrial life style. He employed the poor land owners of Muridke to productively capitalize their assets. He meted out small scale loans and established the fertilizer industry in this region. His factories broke the vicious cycle prevalent at that time which introduced the middle man as an oppressor of the poor. He redefined this role. The poor farmers now get A-grade fertilizer at cheaper rates. There is more employment. The land is more productive. Even the crime rate seems to have decreased, now that the regional disparity has been reduced. All in all, a small town in one part of Pakistan revived the basics of successful financing and created a ripple effect reaching as far out as the GDP of the country imparting a positive influence on it. And in this journey, Fahd Farooq Chattha, although still a youngling, was an avid spectator and at times even a critic and a counselor.
This is where my love and passion for the world of economics started. Since my childhood, I had seen the power of sciences in the form of medicine and engineering in action around us. I was surprised, however, by how little the impact of economics on any society was understood in our country. Yes there have been A-grade students and PhD holders in this field but few who actually tapped into a proper understanding and implementation of its rituals. Fortunately my father was one of these. It gave me a boost up and sense of direction I wanted my life to take. I knew deep inside me that economics was where my destiny lay. It was a natural passion and instinct even. I remember being engrossed in the business section of BBC and TIMES and marveling at the market dynamics. The economic recession was the tsunami for my world. I was nearing the end of my O-levels at the time and couldn’t wait to ‘go out there’ and ‘get into action’. I had studied sciences in O-levels however, contrary to what the above lines might imply. The reason was a very simple one : sciences imparted a very innovative and logical problem solving attitude. The likes of this are a must have for successfully handling the intricate world of finance. Mathematics was, as a result, a favorite subject and my link between the two opposite fields. I kept sciences even in A-levels despite studies becoming very challenging at that point. The marvels of science demanded a herculean mind to understand and comprehend. If I could develop exactly that, I would have one of the many tools necessary for becoming a successful economist. I kept pace with the concerned subject too, going beyond the confines of course books. As stated above, the idea behind Grameen Bank and a very similar format of action being adopted by my father acted as great inspirations for me.
Life is process of consistent learning and micro-evolutions. Everything we do from watching Leonardo Di Caprio sketching awesome figurines in ‘Titanic’ to playing hockey as Captain and centre forward for the school team is a learning experience. One teaches finesse and dedication, the other inculcates team work ethics and an ability to handle tough situations. I have been passionate about extracurricular activities for this very reason. They give me the learning opportunities that life ought to be honored with. Problem solving skills, coordination, leadership, time management, hard work, creativity; aren’t these features common to both a hockey match and an economic project?
Once the prospective degree was decided, the place to obtain this was a clear choice too. When it comes to education, the United Kingdom is a royalty. One of the best educational institutions of the world, intellectually stimulating and encouraging environments, and to top it off, a G-8 country which also happens to be a common room for many different cultures and ethnicities. What more could a student ask for?

of evil and the dead in A levels

Imagine a child; blissful innocent and carefree. He is playing in a lush green meadow with rainbows above and fresh water springs beside him. The air is filled with lovely sounds of his joyous laughter and melodious chirping of birds. Now drop an A-bomb in this scenario and you have a ‘picture perfect’ example of what life in A levels is like. And if you plan on doing medical afterwards, add a tinge of volcanic eruptions and earthquakes to the aforementioned.
So we have completed our O levels and amassed a plethora of A’s to our credit. There is newfound optimism and confidence in the air. On top of that, we have an increasing desire to ‘live’; parties, movies, time waste etc. and with this legion we march into the battlefield with little or no sensible clue of what exactly to do. We talk about our CV’s, grades, Megan Fox, university applications and loads of other crap until Columbus discovers the date sheet for mid-term exams. All is still well until we realize that for the first time, we actually need school exam grades (for university applications and other terrorist propagandas). Theoretically we should have been scared enough to wet our pants but in reality the wetting phase would have to wait until exam results are announced. By that time however it’s too late and then planet sulk enters its influential orbit around us. We get a fishy feeling that A levels might not be the cookie that we anticipated. But God bless mount-optimism. We remember the good-ol olevel days and pat ourselves on the back knowing that somehow we are too brilliant to be true and will sort things out here as well. And so off we go chasing more fun, ’important internships’ and vicious gf searches (Google is eerily silent in this regard). Lightning CAN strike the same place twice and we realize this only after discovering yet another date sheet, promotion exams this time (or AS if you inhabit planet Beaconhouse). Needless to say, the chicken never managed to cross the road.
With that we enter the universal favorite time zone of summer vacations. Memories of exam holocaust are still fresh in our minds. Hence we think of acting more responsibly and decide to join academies for summer tuition. But the choice of such depends entirely on the ‘mahol’ of the place. So we end up nicknaming the whole class for binomial nomenclature and acting all serious at worksheets and assignments without actually disturbing the books from their sacred slumber. Enter Lord WAPDA with its cracking whip of torturous load shedding. We burn in the summer heat and anger at fate for not getting to approach certain selected deities. And while the global carbon emissions increase drastically because of this, the summer vacations come to an end.
By now, we really are scared witless. The chronicles of mirthlessnes continue. If simple concepts weren’t enough of a nightmare, we were introduced to paper 4 and 5 which speaks out loud “I want your blood, and brains if you have any”. No more hours of playing football in the basketball court or discussing politics in the lecture rooms. University apps and SATs only added to the misery. The story continues, with some really painful bumps like the SSE test. Let’s see what becometh of the flock. Fingers crossed and best of luck every one.

Ernesto Che Guevara

Times magazine hailed him amongst the 100 most influential people of the 20th century. One of his photographs was declared, in a survey, to be the most famous photograph in the world. Everywhere, from t-shirts to posters, a high contrast graphic monochrome of his face is picturing the words ‘rebellion’ and ‘revolutionary’ to the masses. It is hence not surprising to see life of Ernesto Che Guevara as a big inspiration for many teenagers, me included. I must clarify one thing though: Che’s Marxist ideas have never held much appeal for me. Instead it is the basic message of his struggle which caught my attention: elimination of poverty and creating equality in society.
I was introduced to this legendary rebel when I saw a friend wearing a shirt with Che’s monochrome. I was intrigued as this was the first time I had seen any teenager go beyond wearing a wrestling or singing icon. It was explained to me that this guy was “awesome Cuban revolutionary”. Knowing my friend’s habit of believing in street gossip, I decided to do some research myself to find out who Che Guevara was. I went to my history teacher the next day and was told that Guevara was “a terrorist cum politician”. Now although I considered the teacher to be more authentic in this regard, I was still surprised by the polarity of images that these two people had portrayed; one depicting Guevara as hero, the other as villain. I asked my teacher that why was he being worshipped in the popular culture if he was so nefarious? This question was answered by a blank expression on my teacher’s face and I knew then that history certainly was a matter of interpretation. So I searched the internet for articles of all types on Guevara’s life; his early life and affinity for the poor, his asthma problem that he bravely fought, admission into University of Buenos Aires for medical, his athletic interests and aptly given nicknames like El Furibundo(raging) to describe his playing style. The articles showed a contrasting spectrum of opinions. Some, like my friend and prominent people like Nelson Mandela, portrayed him as “an inspiration for every human being who loves freedom”. Others would use words like ‘cold-blooded killing machine’ and ‘Marxist puritan’.
But in all these articles, one thing came out very prominently. In the start of post-colonial era, societies were succumbing to all sorts of social evils and disparity. Corruption, apartheid, lawlessness, poverty. It would seem that freedom from the colonial era was about to become a big curse for places like Latin America. And certainly social degeneration was an imminent possibility in such societies. But at this point, there came people, Ernesto Che Guevara being an excellent example, who rebelled not against a political ideology but against social evils at large. The means by which Che Guevara tried to achieve his aims might be controversial but the ultimate goal was nothing more than a world full of peace; a world where there would be no racial or status based discrimination, where all humans were equal and were treated thus. And this message, every sane human acquiesces to.

metamorphosis of myself

There used to be a time when decorum was the las thing on our minds when we used to play in the rain.Today, however, such an activity is usaully a total taboo.Why? “ you are grown up now!It does’nt look nice.” Things have changed.Over the years there have been many changes in myself as a person too;from a child who’s only worry was to catch elmo on sessame street daily in time to a person wondering how to manage the hectic schedule of senior high school year, I am a different person now.The roots of this change can be traced back to a single event in my life.The event which became my awakening.When a catterpillar metamorphises into a butterfly,the process completely changes the personnality of the insect.The hungry grub is transformed into the very emblem of beauty.Hopefully my morphosis will leave me as something significant too.
When I entered my teens, life turned a new leaf.The world around me was a different picture now with new colours and shades in everything.Now it was my task to have left some strokes of my own in the painting.Alas! I was too naïve to do more than just stare.My thinking was still not mature enough.enjoyment seemed to be the only purpose in life.Why work?day in and day out I was just goofing around,wasting my time,my life.I had grown up but I wasn’t taking my responsibillities seriously.I would’nt study at all.life was just a play ground for me and there was definitely a dire need to bring about an attitude change.And soon the harsh awakening came in the form of my olevels result.
I still remember how on the day of the result announcement I was sitting in my school lobby wondering how come I had been so care free during the exams.i couldn’t remember havind devoted enough time or concentration to this important matter.Too late to worry about it though. Then they called my roll number and I was taken to the office.They gave me the report card.One look at it and the scenery all around me was a shade of dull gray and a gloomy blue tinge.It was as if my heart had stopped beating.I walked out with slumped shoulders,slow dragging steps,a numb mind and a heart which was in a million little pieces.
My parents had expected so much from me.I had let them down.People all around me were celebrating the result; reaping the fruits of their labour.They were discussing their future plans, the school they would choose,the universities they were aiming for,the majors that interested them, the course of life they wanted to set upon.I realized I had always been living in a bubble.For me the future was little more than just a prediction of who would be winning the english premier league.The obvious fault lay in the way I had shaped my present : a life without significant meaning or direction.Everbody was working hard to make a name for themselves,to leave their footprints on the sands of time,to be somebody! I on the other hand was a content nobody.I was wasting my life.

And thus I woke up from the slumber of ignorance.I joined a prestigious institute and promised myself that I would be the architecht of my own change,a change within myself to become a more responsible person.I changed my perception and was now in active serach of meaning and direction in life.I talked to our career cousellor for guidance.She recommended that I participate in different activities to find the answer to my question.Thereafter I became an avid participant in many extracurricular actvities.It was not the certificates that attracted me; it was the learning experience that these things promised to offer.There was this dance competition in which I participated and learned so many new things from synchronization and team work to dedication and honesty to the task at hand.Then there was this paper plane flying competition that made me realize the importance of applying class room knowledge to practical life.And yes the film making competition too! That’s where I learned realy effective communicating skills.All this provided me with ample oppurtunity to redeem myself.However there was still another side of the coin that I was oblivious of.My volunteer work at the zoo solved that for me.It was there that I realized that life means living not just for your self but for others as well.Hence I became passionate about activities that allowed me to work for the betterment of others.I had now found a purpose of my existence: living like a candle that provides light to others.I joined the adult literacy plan to educate those who were unfortunate enough to have been denied this privilege previously.Then I participated in a tree plantation campaign and a similar drive to spread environmental awareness.Here is where I truly left some artistic strokes of my own in the picture. I was awarded a postion in the student coucil and more oppurtunities to contribute to the world around me rose up.
The first high school year ended.Yes things had definitely changed.I had realized the importance of living life with a purpose.I had learned to live and learned along side that living without an aim or goal is just surviving, not living.The future now lies before me like an unread book.As I am about to turn the first page,I have one purpose which I shall follow like a devout.I shall read the story and enjoy it as well but I will read it out loud so that the others can have some benefit too.